Tag Archives: Sleep

Harry Sleeps All Night Long Now

Yep. He does. He’s been doing it for a month plus now, so I feel like I can say it without jinxing myself. And guess how we did it? Cried it out. (maybe both of us) Definitely torture for a night or two, but worth it. First of all, it’s really important for Harry’s development. Second of all, it’s really important for Mama’s sanity.

R.Simple Life | Sleep Training

I’m over at The Wise Baby talking all about it this morning. And I’m so well rested (well not really… but that’s not Harry’s fault. I was on the couch working and watching Gilmore Girls way too late last night.).

Now… how do I deal with Daylight Savings Time?

xoxo, Mallory

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Sleeping Harry

R.Simple Life | Sleeping Harry

I don’t think I can take enough pictures of this kid sleeping. It’s just so amazing to watch. Oh, and he’s seven months old today. How did that happen?!

xoxo, Mallory

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Of Sleeping Babes and Sorting Minds

R. Simple Life | I could watch my baby sleep forever. IMG_5501 IMG_5502 IMG_5499

“It is the nightly custom of every good mother after her children are alseep to rummage in their minds and put things straight for next morning, repacking into their proper places the many articles that have wandered during the day. If you could keep awake (but of course you can’t) you would see your own mother doing this, and you would find it very interesting to watch her. It is quite like tidying up drawers. You would see her on her knees, I expect, lingering humorously over some of your contents, wondering where on earth you had picked this thing up, making discoveries sweet and not so sweet, pressing this to her cheek as if it were as nice as a kitten, and hurriedly stowing that out of site. When you wake in the morning, the naughtiness and evil passions with which you went to bed have been folded up small and placed at the bottom of your mind and on the top, beautifully aired, are spread out your prettier thoughts, ready for you to put on.”

-J.M. Barrie, Peter and Wendy

Harry and I have been reading Peter Pan. I use it as a way to expose him to new words, and to entertain whilst doing so. Believe it or not, I’ve actually never read the story of Peter Pan, though I’ve seen it done in so many different movies (my favorite being Finding Neverland. Have you seen it? Amazing.). It’s amazing how, with the birth of my first son, my perspective has changed. I no longer relate to the children of the stories, which, up until age 26, I did. I now see the love, affection, heartache, of the mother. In all stories.

This passage struck a cord with me. I have many hats, but my favorite one to wear, and the most important, is Mum. Everything I do is hopefully for the best when it comes to Harry. At least that is my intention. And so watching Mrs. Darling tidy up Wendy, John, and Michael’s minds is where I find myself in these books. I see bits of Harry in John, Michael, the lost boys, even Peter Pan. But I find myself when Mrs. Darling is tidying her babies minds at the end of the day, with her sweet mocking mouth keeping that elusive kiss in the right hand corner.

xoxo, Mallory

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On Co-sleeping

R.Simple Life | On Co-sleeping

I’ve had a big response to the slight mention of co-sleeping in one of my comments. It seems that everyone wants to hear about this. And I don’t blame everyone. It’s such a hot  topic, which was, indeed the reason I was avoiding it on the blog all together. Everyone has an opinion and people tend to get pretty vocal about it. But because so many of you are interested in what we’re doing, I’m talking about it. I’m even going to leave the comments on, because I love hearing from you. But please be respectful of me and my family, as well as anyone else who comments. Otherwise I’m turning them off. How’s that for my Mom Voice?

Okay co-sleeping. Before I had a baby, I was 100% against co-sleeping. I thought it was dangerous. I thought it was setting your child up for disappointment when they move into their own big, lonely bed. I thought it took away time, intimacy, cuddling, love from your marriage. I was not going to co-sleep. If my child had a nightmare, he could sleep in my room, but not my bed. If he was sick, Mum or Papa would cuddle with him in his bed for part of the night, but again, our bed was going to be off limits.

Fast forward to January 9th, 2013. I had Harry. This sweet little boy who stole my heart in a way I never even knew anyone could. But I still wasn’t going to co-sleep. He could sleep in his rock ‘n play next to our bed. He could even cuddle in our bed while we were all awake. But still, no co-sleeping. Until he was about a week old. And we all napped in our bed together. It was magical. Some of the best sleep of my life. But, I told myself, it was a one off.

Again, hit that fast forward button, this time to about one month in. Harry was still sleeping next to us, yet in his own space. However, he started waking up at 5:30, an hour after eating, and the only thing I could think to do to get more sleep was to pull him into bed with us and cuddle him. Worked like a charm. He fell asleep the second he felt my warm body next to his. We started doing this a few mornings a week.

The co-sleeping really started picking up. We would put him to bed in his own crib, then move him to his bassinet when we went to sleep. Then sometime between 4-6am, he’d come into our bed to finish out the night’s sleep. I never second guessed myself. I wasn’t worried about rolling over on top of him. It’s just this biological thing. I can’t explain it, but it’s just not going to happen. I’m ultra aware of him being there, yet I sleep soundly. We don’t have big fluffy blankets or pillows on the bed that could suffocate him. He’s safe.

I don’t think it takes a single thing away from our marriage, either. Sure, we’re sharing our bed with another person, but it’s our son. Our son who is a wonderful extension of us. We still have our time, Jon and I. I don’t feel like we’re missing anything, on the contrary, I feel like it has brought us together.

And because Harry spends his naps and a large part of the night in his own space, I don’t think it’s going to be a terrible adjustment when we decide co-sleeping is done. He’s used to his crib. He sleeps in his rock ‘n play just fine. It’ll be an adjustment, yes, but I can’t imagine it’s going to be all that terrible.

Will the co-sleeping stop? Yes. We need to have boundaries, and there will be a point where Harry doesn’t sleep in our bed anymore. But for now, it works for us. He’s still waking up 2-3 times a night, and having him that close is great. I get so much more sleep having right next to me in the rock ‘n play, or even closer on the bed. Plus, I’m under the impression that there is nothing sweeter to waking up smooshed into the 8 inches in between the love of your life and your life’s love. That is my kind of snuggle.

I’ve learned so much in these past four months. About parenting, about Harry, about Jon, about myself. So many things that have surprised me. We always think we have it all figured out, right? It’s times like these, though, that remind us that we don’t have a clue. And I love that. So consider this my giant apology to anyone who received an internal eye roll when they talked about co-sleeping with me before I had Harry. I’ve really learned that you just do what is best for your family. And only you know what that is.

Okay. Remember to keep it nice guys. But I’m curious. What do you think about co-sleeping?

xoxo, Mallory

PS This article inspired me to sit down and write this all out. It’s a very different approach to co-sleeping than ours, but it’s kind of amazing. And the pictures, ugh. My heart melted.

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One More Thing…

R.Simple Life

So with yesterday’s talk about beginning sleep training, I didn’t point out one key factor. I’m jumping, no wading, into this very slowly. Right now, Harry still wakes up twice a night to eat (on average… sometimes it’s much more) and I know for a fact that he is not ready to drop both of those feedings. And I have no problem with that. (confession: I love those night time feedings. call me crazy.)

From the very beginning, Harry’s led the parade in our house. Feeding on demand, sleeping when he’s ready… it’s all led by him. And I plan on sleep training going the same way. He’ll let me know when he’s ready.

Right now the biggest goal with sleep training is training Harry to put himself back to sleep. He’s actually really good at this at night, and has been from a very early age. It’s naps that are the toughie. He fights naps so, so hard. Then wakes up after the minimal amount of sleep, and is happy as can be to get up. But he is exhausted. So he needs to learn to go back to sleep after that first REM cycle. And that’s what we’re working on now.

Just wanted to clarify.

xoxo, Mallory

PS Thank you to all the momma’s with the encouragement. You guys are so great. XO

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On Sleep Training.

Thoughts about sleep training a three month old

So yesterday I made a decision that was altogether big and small and important and sad and happy. We’re sleep training. I feel like Harry is finally ready. He’s no longer the little infant who only cries when he needs something to sustain his life and contentment. He’s (dare I say it without choking up) growing up. Don’t ask me how I’m sleep training, because I don’t know. I can’t stand to hear that little boy cry, so it’s not going to be all Ferberizing up in here. But I’m not about to let him run the show, requiring a good rocking to sleep until he’s nine and embarrassed by it. So we’re somewhere in between and making it up as we go.

Yesterday started the process by letting him put himself to sleep. Getting him to third base, but putting it on him to bring it home. I know, I know. Some of you have been doing this since the beginning. But I liked to rock my baby to sleep. So sue me. It worked decently for naps (I only had to go up there two or three times to help him get back to sleepy state before he passed out) but then came bed time.

We have a bed time routine. We’ve had it since Day 3, our first day home from the hospital. It goes something like this: bath time, snuggles, bedtime nurse/Harry Potter reading, rocking, bed. It’s my favorite time of most days. All three of us love it. Well, I realized last night that if indeed it is true that consistency is the name of the game when it comes to parenting (and I’m a firm believer that it is) the rocking part of the bed time routine was going to be cut short. No more sleeping baby in my arms, sneaking him into his crib. Now I have a big boy. A drowsy baby in my arms, laying him in his crib, giving him a kiss and watching intently on the monitor to make sure he doesn’t need one or two more kisses.

Call me crazy, but I miss it. I miss him needing his Mum’s rocking. My songs. My warm body. He is doing outstandly well at this sleep training thing (knock on wood). It’s me whose having a rough time with it. I accidentally blinked my eyes and now he’s almost 15 weeks old. From here on out, he’s just going to get bigger, more independent. I don’t think it’s so crazy to mourn the loss of sleep rocking.

And I’ll tell you this. Once we get this sleep training thing down, we might just enjoy a night or two of sleep rocking for old time sake. So sue me.

xoxo, Mallory

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A Saturday Morning Story

Saturday Morning

Here is your fair warning: this post is filled with oooey gooey stuff. It’s the kind of stuff that will make your teeth hurt. Feel free to skip it if you’re not feeling in a particular lovey mood.  This is your only warning.

On Saturday morning, the three of us were snuggled in bed sleeping at 5:59am. At 6:00, Jonathan’s alarm went off. I nudged him softly, then a bit harder, as I was frantically trying to make it to stop before the littlest boy woke up. You see, he takes after his mother, and not his father… which means he has no problem whatsoever waking up to an alarm clock, even if it is bells or crickets or whatever I made J change his alarm to. Luckly, Harry slept through it, and Jonathan turned it off.

We got 26 more minutes of blissful sleep before the second alarm went off. And this time, the Harry woke up. 6:26am. On a Saturday. A Saturday after a Friday when Mum stayed up past her bedtime to hang out with the family members who had driven for two days to see us. I (foolishly) thought that I might be able to nurse Harry back to sleep. Maybe if we were very quiet, and kept the blinds closed, and filled his sweet little belly, I could cuddle him back to sleep. As I was getting situated, Papa rolled over and started sweetly telling little Harry it was time to go back to bed. Too early for waking. To which Harry replied, “big gummy smile.” And that was that. No more sleep for the baby or for the Muma.

As I sat there nursing a very awake boy, realizing it was time to start my day, no matter how tired I was, I was mad. Mad at a husband who always seems to forget to turn off his alarm. Mad at a husband who then proceeded to further wake up a (notso) sleepy baby by sweetly talking to him. Mad at a husband who went back to sleep for 40 minutes.

Now this is where it gets a little mushy. Two minutes into my frustration, I stopped and looked at my baby. He was looking up at me, his hand resting on my chest. The sun was peeking through our blinds casting that early morning glow all over the bed and the two boys I love the most. My husband (albeit husband momentarily in the doghouse without even realizing it) was home and snuggled up to me. And all of a sudden, I wanted to freeze that moment forever. To hold on to this little boy who seems to have grown every time I grab him from a nap. To feel my leg against my sweet husband’s sleeping body. To have the warm glow that was filling my heart filling my room as well.

It was the kind of morning I needed after a week like this one. The kind of morning I didn’t realize I needed until I got it. The kind of morning that will get me through other mornings that might have a little more sleep, but a little less husband. Or a little more sleep, but a little less nursing baby Harry. The kind of morning that happiness is really, really made of. The kind of morning that I wanted more than anything while we were dreaming about this little boy, long before he was ever here.

And then I was thankful that my husband forgot to turn off his alarm.

xoxo, Mallory

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Weekend Recap

So much sleeping. This part of my pregnancy promises to knock out the most energetic of us all, and it’s no secret that I’m not a peppy cheerleader anymore. I need, and love, my sleep. So naps througout the weekend were required, especially since I can’t seem to sleep past 6:45AM anymore.

And we saw What to Expect When You’re Expecting. I was one of the pregnant ladies in line at the bathroom as soon as the movie was over. I’ll admit, it was pretty cool.

xoxo, Mallory

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