photo courtesy of twenty-fifth and grant.
Some of you know that we didn’t get pregnant with Harry the second we were ready. It took a few months for us to get there. It was a frustrating time, and it started to get hard. But we were lucky. We got this sweet little boy, and I say it all the time, but it’s true… I’m so glad I didn’t get pregnant the first month we were trying. Or the second. Or the third, fourth, etc. Because then I wouldn’t have my Harry. Sure, I would have a different baby that I would have loved just as much (I’m sure) but I wouldn’t have Harry.
There were a few times in the months of negative pregnancy tests that I worried about what would happen if I didn’t get pregnant. If it took longer than we expected. Would I tell anyone? There were only a very, very small number of people who knew we were trying (our own parents didn’t even know). At what point would I have to tell? It was very hard for me when people asked us why we didn’t have kids yet. It was hard for me to be happy with no trace of jealousy for my friends, family, and acquaintances who were expecting.
I couldn’t imagine telling anyone. It was such a personal, vulnerable thing. But there comes a point when you just have to get it out. To stop the innocent questions. To help people understand why your smile is funny when they tell you their pregnant. My sweet, sweet friend is at that point now.
She is so strong. So inspiring. And she said all the words that no one wants to have to say. I’m not sharing it because I think she needs your sympathy (she doesn’t) or your words of wisdom (maybe keep them to yourself). I’m sharing it because it is so beautifully written, so amazingly heartfelt. And it might just help one of you. I love this lady, and I know she will make an unbelievable Mama to some lucky kids one day.
Stories like Amy’s are helpful on so many levels. I’m positive it was a huge weight off her shoulders to get this out. I’m sure she will touch other hopeful mothers-to-be in the same situation. And I hope her story will serve as a reminder to those of us who are lucky enough to kiss our kids to bed tonight. Remember to be patient. Remember to love unconditionally. Remember what you have is special. Remember the responsibility, the joy, the pride you can and do have.