Things That are Hard to Say

R.Simple Life | Wanting a Baby

photo courtesy of twenty-fifth and grant.

Some of you know that we didn’t get pregnant with Harry the second we were ready. It took a few months for us to get there. It was a frustrating time, and it started to get hard. But we were lucky. We got this sweet little boy, and I say it all the time, but it’s true… I’m so glad I didn’t get pregnant the first month we were trying. Or the second. Or the third, fourth, etc. Because then I wouldn’t have my Harry. Sure, I would have a different baby that I would have loved just as much (I’m sure) but I wouldn’t have Harry.

There were a few times in the months of negative pregnancy tests that I worried about what would happen if I didn’t get pregnant. If it took longer than we expected. Would I tell anyone? There were only a very, very small number of people who knew we were trying (our own parents didn’t even know). At what point would I have to tell? It was very hard for me when people asked us why we didn’t have kids yet. It was hard for me to be happy with no trace of jealousy for my friends, family, and acquaintances who were expecting.

I couldn’t imagine telling anyone. It was such a personal, vulnerable thing. But there comes a point when you just have to get it out. To stop the innocent questions. To help people understand why your smile is funny when they tell you their pregnant. My sweet, sweet friend is at that point now.

She is so strong. So inspiring. And she said all the words that no one wants to have to say. I’m not sharing it because I think she needs your sympathy (she doesn’t) or your words of wisdom (maybe keep them to yourself). I’m sharing it because it is so beautifully written, so amazingly heartfelt. And it might just help one of you. I love this lady, and I know she will make an unbelievable Mama to some lucky kids one day.

Stories like Amy’s are helpful on so many levels. I’m positive it was a huge weight off her shoulders to get this out. I’m sure she will touch other hopeful mothers-to-be in the same situation. And I hope her story will serve as a reminder to those of us who are lucky enough to kiss our kids to bed tonight. Remember to be patient. Remember to love unconditionally. Remember what you have is special. Remember the responsibility, the joy, the pride you can and do have.

xoxo, Mallory

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5 thoughts on “Things That are Hard to Say

  1. […] I have this friend, Amy. (Yes, this same friend. And this one too.) We’ve been friends for a while, but we don’t live near […]

  2. […] Thank you all so much for the response to yesterday’s post. I know Amy is floored at the response she is getting from her post, and I was absolutely humbled […]

  3. Wendy says:

    Oh, yes!

    We were blessed to conceive. It didn’t happen when we expected, but it did. In hindsight, it became blatantly obvious that it was a gift that we conceived when we did.

    Susanna was born the week of finals. Scott missed the entire finals week due to my long labor and c-section delivery. I’m not sure it would have been best earlier in the grad semester.

    She also shares her Daddy’s birth month- just 25 days before his. Our December is joy- Susanna, Christmas, and Daddy.

    She has taught us to have Hope always- just like her middle name.

    Hope and Peace to all,


  4. amydieringer says:

    Thank you so much, Mallory. I’m so honored to have YOU as a friend.

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